Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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