Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
Randomize