90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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