i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
