Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
whose ass print is on the piano?
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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