I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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