I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
