Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
