Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize