How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
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