oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
