Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Randomize
