Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
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