Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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