hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
Randomize
