Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
They left me at home... I'm a liability
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize