I want to walk on stilts...naked
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Randomize
