I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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