I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
He better not be in your backpack
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
