I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize
