i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
Randomize
