12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
