I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
