Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
