speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
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