C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Randomize
