They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Betty ford says i'm here all night
my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
Dick very happy bro
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize