I think I am morally bankrupt
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
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