i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Randomize
