I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Randomize
