So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize
