By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
