You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
