definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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