That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
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