we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize
