the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
that's an acceptable place to lick
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
