My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Randomize