Dude my mom stole all your condoms
I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
