hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
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