Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
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