hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize