Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
