i permit you to call me
When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
Randomize
