A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
Randomize
