I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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