I wish I could teleport
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
Randomize
