fuck your aforementioned shoe
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
