he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
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