mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
