he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
last night I used snow as a chaser
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