I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
