I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Randomize
