I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
how do you play pong handcuffed?
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
