The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
