My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
porn star boner night. come get it.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
