Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Randomize
