Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
organizing the empties. That sober.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Randomize
