I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
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