Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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